I talked last time about removing the emotion around a tough situation. Over the years, I have come up with three questions to help guide me doing just that.
Q1: What is the real need?
When the washing machine broke I wanted a new washer. I needed clean clothes. The two are not the same. It was want v need.
Q2: What are my resources?
I have a wash basin. I have places I can hang clothes to drip before putting them in the dryer. I do not have the cash to replace the washer or call a repair man. Bonus resource: A house full of people who love to watch videos on how to repair things and the will to try. After two weeks we were able to trouble shoot the repair to a part that cost $35. We ordered it and installed it. The washer works now.
Q3: What is my obligation?
This one didn’t come into play as much with the washer but it has been used many times with other situations. With the washing machine my obligation was to keep the family in clean clothes so I could do that by washing a load or two every day. I was not obligated to run to the laundry mat to wash a child’s favorite shirt before bedtime.
Those are the three questions I use to cut through my emotional reactions. I hope it helps you too.